Happy birthday, blondie
by Imoto-Kun
Summary: It's been 17 bad birthdays until now. It's not like this one was a huge surprise for Mello.


I had 17 birthdays until now, and all of them, I seriously mean ALL of them, sucked. From celebrating it all alone to being forgotten I even had one. Even though, no birthday until now sucked as much as this one.

I'm not one of those twisted people who likes being tied to a chair where someone can do whatever he wants to me, or a masochist who likes being slapped at again and again, nor one who finds it exciting to have a gun point to your head. That is, I believe, enough to make my birthday in one of the three worst moments of my life.

It started all because Matt is an idiot and too proud.

"Matt, if you keep being the cocky guy you are, you'll mess this up."

He didn't seem to hear me. I threw an aluminium wrapper ball at his head. He grumbled and turned his head to me. "What?"

"Pay attention to each screen individually, for god's sake. We don't need you to write a girl's cup size instead of something that's actually important. Speaking of which, get out of those porn sites!"

He looked at me contemptuously and said, "you underestimate me as usual, asshole. And I'm sorry big breasts bother the gayness of yours." To which I throwed a bar at his face. He yelped with pain and patted the spot I hit.

"I don't need you to mess this up, that's all. Is it too much to ask?" He sighed at me. "And I'm not gay, for the hundredth time!"

"Come on, blondie. You wear tight leather clothes and have a feather scarf. I'm surprised you didn't put lipstick or something," then he added with a chuckle, "yet."

I got up and walked to him, slapping the back of his head. "Says the still-a-virgin."

"Ouuch... It's not like you had sex."

Ignoring that, I went to the kitchen and looked at the clock. "It's two a.m already. What the heck is taking you so long?"

Matt growled at me. "If you want, you can try by yourself to search for those things, smart guy."

I responded mocking him, "I'm smarter than you, third."

"And you still can't activate a simple computer, **_second_**." He spat the rank to me. I didn't throw a knife at him only after deciding cleaning up the blood and hide the body together with the evidence will be too much bother.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep. Finish this quick, without making any mistakes, OK?"

He nodded in some sort of ignorance and continued typing rapidly.

_Show-off._

I removed my clothes and wore workout pants. No way he can say I wear tight pants now.

It was not long before I heard the bed springs squeak and the coldness of december's air as the blanket was taken from me.

"Don't get greedy, jerk," I complained and pulled the blanket back.

"Isn't it your turn to sleep on the couch?" He asked me.

"No, it's yours. Are you done with everything there, anyway?"

He sighed loudly as he got up. "Yes, stop worrying. You should trust me more, Mello. You know?"

I turned and looked at his back. "I've never trusted anyone in my life, and I don't see a reason to start now."

Matt turned his face towards me only halfway and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "You're gonna be stuck with me for a while, so you should try and change it." He sounded mad. I didn't have time to figure that out, because he left as fast as he typed and I quickly found my way to sleep.

When I woke up, I was the only one in the hideout. Well, me and all the rats that probably walked around here. I have to tell Matt to clean this shithole once in awhile.

I looked at the laptop screen. It seem he got a hold on the security cameras in the area we were planning to sneak in. While looking at it, I noticed the date. Just a day before my birthday. Before another suckish birthday. I wondered how it would go this time. About to look away and start searching for something to eat other than cereal I caught some movement in the screen. It was black-and white, and blurred. But if there's one thing I'll always recognize, is that stupid vest of his that not once was thrown on me and reeked of cigarettes.

"Idiot!" I blurted. I reached for the chest under the coffee table and opened it, getting my pistol. I got my clothes, getting dressed on my way out. There's no way to mess a messy place anyway, right?

The sun was hid behind a wall of grey to black clouds, it was as dark as an early evening. Rushing through the almost-empty street, I made my turns and crossed streets, twice almost getting hit by a car that honked on me. I didn't have time to do it aloud, so in my head I kept cursing the drivers.

When I arrived to the big building, I pulled my gun out (how didn't anyone see it on my way here?) and walked in slowly. It was really silent. Maybe I was foolish for coming here after Matt. The guy was watching it for a week by now, he sure knows when it's safe to invade.

Pacing in the corridor, I almost decided the brunette had already gotten out of here when I believe I heard one of his stupid replies. "Why won't you baldie get me the hell out of this ropes and confront me as a real man?"

_I knew he's being careless again_, I thought, taking one more step before some big-headed guy hit me hard enough to pass out.

"I see the sleeping princess decided to wake up," a familiar voice spoke. I was never so annoyed to hear it.

"Shut up, stupidass." My voice was weak. I cleared my throat. "What were you thinking coming here anyway?"

He shrugged and tried sitting straight. I tried moving my arms, just to feel the scratch of old rope against my skin.

I wanted to start yelling at him the many offensive things I thought about him, but the door opened and a small figure, followed by two bigger ones, entered the room. He looked at me and Matt. I almost cracked up. His bald head reflected the light and almost dazzled me.

"What do we have here?" He asked and looked at me. He grabbed my face strongly with his thumb and index finger, moving it from side to side. "I see your girlfriend came here to your rescue, so nice. We should have more women who are this loyal to men. Don't you agree?" His small black eyes looked down from my face. "Just too bad the one you caught yourself is a bit of a flat-chest."

I could hear Matt holding back the loud laugh. I moved my head in the meaning of biting off that creep's fingers, but he fastly let go of me and instead slapped me with the back of his hand.

"You son of a bitch." I opened and closed my mouth, trying to figure out of that bald guy succeeded to disconnect it.

"You sure have a weird taste in girls," he said with a sour face. I sent him a disgust look.

"Oh, as much as Mello may appreciate that, I'm not dating him," Matt joked.

"Him? That explains everything." The small man scanned me from head to toe. "Everything but why he's wearing tight leather clothes and has such a long blonde hair..."

I snarled at him. "At least I **_have_** hair."

He didn't seem to like my comment.

"Mello, you shouldn't say those stuff to the guy who can torture you ya know..."

I snarled at him too. "Yeah, says the one that called him baldie. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be here!"

He wanted to respond before the man cut us off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Cut your love talks and let's get serious." I rolled my eyes, but Matt seemed somewhat uncomfortable suddenly. "What are you two cunts doing here?"

"I came here after that idiot," I said and tilted my head to the brunette's direction.

"And you?" Baldie asked him.

Matt tilted his head to my direction. "His fault."

"My fault? How the hell?!"

"You keep saying I'd fuck things up!"

"Ah, and guess what? I was freaking right!"

"Lovers fight? How cute."

We immediately stopped.

"Thank you. Now, what were you looking for in here?"

Once again I tilted my head to Matt's direction.

The bald man sighed. "And you?"

Matt, I hoped, wouldn't ruin things again. And he didn't. "You'll have to kiss me to find out," he said with a kinky smile. Too bad this made the man command to one of his guards to hurt him.

I closed my eyes strongly when I heard him starting to screams, and I'm almost sure I heard a crack. When I opened my eyes again, the two bodyguards were behind baldie, and Matt bit his lower lip to not sob. His middle finger seemed twisted to the gang's direction. Horrible as it looked, it was pretty ironic.

"Sincere answers now."

The brunette hissed to me. "It's all your fault, blondie."

"My fault? How the hell is it my fault for you being stupid?"

"You aren't the only who doesn't like being underestimated, smartass!"

The bald guy seemed to get sick of us. He grunted loudly. "Make those two stop with this chit-chat! Take each to a different room, for god's sake. I'm going to have a drink..." He mumbled to himself that he's tired of 10 year olds as he swayed from side to side while walking away.

The two man blindfolded both of us. After five minutes, mine as taken off. Only Matt was taken away.

I hated the fact that I was worried where to.

I was left alone for a while. I started looking around. Brown shelves with bread on it and bags of wheat on the ground. Two bags of grains of every six shelves. Some fruits, like banana and oranges, creams and something that seemed like was in the middle of it's making. And oven in the very end, only one cooking. From here I could hardly see it, but it seemed like some sort of pastry. I kept looking and trying to figure out when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned my head around.

"Hungry?" Baldie asked. I shook my head. "It's a cake if you were wondering."

I didn't answer.

"Birthday cake. We are making a birthday cake for someone in the staff." I don't think I seemed interested, but all I could think was: _'Great. Someone who is supposed to be forgotten is actually remembered, and I'm nothing but air to people.'_

"When is your birthday, blondie?" He asked me.

"First- no one, and I mean,** no one**, calls me blondie."

"The other guy does. you don't seem to mind."

"Pfft. Hell yeah I do. He always pays for calling me like that." No, he doesn't. I never got mad at him for calling me blondie. Or I did in the start? Maybe I grew on it. We've known each other for really long, I must have gotten used to it. Yep, That's it.

"Second- my birthday is none of your business, OK?" He held back a yawn. "And third- where is the other guy?"

The bald man laughed. "Took care of him."

"What?!" I yelled and surprised even myself.

"Don't worry, he's not dead," and then added under his breath, "yet."

"No! What the hell are you planning to do to him?"

"Calm down dear. You'll stay alive for sure. Probably as my bitch or something..."

"The only thing I'll be is the one killing you, asshole!"

"Oh, I'm shaking. Please, you don't know who you're dealing with. Or maybe you do, since you were spying on me."

"Aff. What did the idiot tell you?"

"Nothing. No matter how hard he got hit, he didn't open his mouth. But you told me something now." wanted to object when he turned around and

walked away again. "Anyway, I'm going back to the other one. My men know what to do to you."

I didn't want to think what they were doing to Mello. The slightest thought about it made my stomach twist.

On the other hand, there was me who soon enough I'd found out what was going to happen.

"Hm. What shampoo do you use?" One of them asked me, touching my hair and looking at the strands he lift closely.

"Stupid guards' blood, like you."

He wrinkled his nose and pulled my hair, a stinging sensation on my scalp.

"Master told us to do as we please when you misbehave."

"Master?" I spat. "Are you already his little bitches?" I could see the wrinkle again just for a snap before gaining a slap. "I see you are."

"You do not know what he did for us," they protected themselves.

"No, and I do not care. I just know if he'll ever get caught, you're going down with him."

They didn't answer nor talk, and neither did I. I just pierced them with my stare. I must have done a fantastic job, because one of them shivered and blindfolded me again.

"Ah, real mature!" I exclaimed.

Slap.

"Son of many bitches..." I whispered to myself.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought."

"Ha, surprised you're able to think."

Once again I felt the sharp pain on my cheek. I need to learn to shut up.

"What were you doing here?" One of them asked.

"It will be too complicated for you to understand."

Damn it!

"How stupid do you think we are?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

I think I'm losing the feeling of my cheek.

"Listen blondie, we are not here to play. If you won't talk..."

I heard a gunfire, soon assuming it was some sort of warning. When one of the guys was about to speak, another gunshot, and then silence. Me, I was quiet. So quiet I was sure I disappeared. I heard a rustle and the feeling of the ropes being less and less tight until completely loose. Soon after, the blindfold was removed. A cocky smile on a brunette's face greeted me.

"I'm not that bad after all, now, am I?"

I didn't reply, just gave him a disparagingly smile. He extended his arm to me, offering a hand. I took a hold of it. I could feel his middle finger disordered shape. He really kept shut about pain, didn't he? Now for holding his hand... The feeling was weird. I never held his hand. I never touched him, other than when I hitted him, and even that was nothing but a second touch. His hand was warm, holding mine firmly.

"What are you so red for?" He suddenly asked in a chuckle. I shook my head.

"Oh?"

"Come on, get up lazyass."

I did as he told me. When we passed the big heavy metal doors, a clock from somewhere far away striked one. Didn't know it was that late.

"There!" Someone from inside yelled. Even the two big-headed guards could understand what was happening. Matt, still not letting go of my hand, pulled me to the side. A Honda NR 750 motorcycle stood there silently, metallic color, shining the few street lamps that were on.

"Know how to drive those?"

I nodded.

Quickly he got out of his vest pocket some stuff I could not recognize (Matt has the most simple stuff disguised as something no one knew existed) and started working on it. My hand felt colder all of a sudden.

"Done," he said, smiling widely as the machine complained being awoken of his sleep. He turned his head to me and smiled even wider, a smile I've

never seen before. "Happy birthday, Mells."

I don't remember ever telling him when's my birthday.

* * *

I wanted to publish it yesterday, but delayed.. Well, in some parts of the world, it's still the 13! ^^  
Happy National Cococa day everyone :D


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